dans!!

Sleepless Night in Tartu

shoes forsaken - drunks and waiters

bridge of sex

gas station coffee and waiting

and don't forget 
the infamous perversion that people remember

leave again as you came

but keep your fingers warm

Geri Dönmek Üzerine

1. Bembeyaz yolda yürüyorum. Ayaklarımın karda çıkardığı seslerle bir ritm oluşturmaya çalışıyorum. Yürüyüş müziğim, ısınma ayinim...

2. Aynada yüzüm bembeyaz. Saçlarım ıslak, olduklarından daha siyah görünüyorlar. Dudaklarım mosmor, gözlerim iki boncuk gibi; donuk, hayatsız bir parıltıyla parlıyorlar.

3. Yemek yiyorum. Her lokma mideme oturuyor, çakıl taşları yiyorum.

4. Çalışmam lazım, yapılacak çok şey var. Umursamıyorum ve unutmaya odaklanıyorum. Zihnimde bir hikaye var ve onu yaşıyorum.

5. Her harfi bir gölge oluşturuyor. Bir iğnenin gölgesi beyazın üzerindeki siyah lekelere dönüşüyor. okuduğum bir hikayeyi düşünüyorum. Aklıma "kir"ler geliyor.

6. Bir noktadan sonra uyuşukluk başlıyor. Bir şeyler üzerime biniyor. Her otobüs yolculuğu, zor ve dışarısından daha soğuk. Evime geliyorum, ama ona ulaşamıyorum. Eve gitmeyi reddediyorum. Yolculuk.Bir tapınma benim için: ben yola tapıyorum.

7. Kendimi çok kolay utandırabiliyorum. Utanç unutulabilecek bir his değil, bir tür ayna-vicdan. Neysem, oyum. Böylesi daha kolay. Ödenecek bedel daha ağır ama özgürlük asla kolay değildir.

8. Özgürlük dedim. Herkes kendi anlamını katıyor ona. Unutmamak lazım, gerçekten özgürlük olsaydı asla tanımı yapılmazdı. Özgürlük var olsaydı, kelime olmazdı.

9. Sayısız düşünceler ve asıl istediğimi ben bile bilmiyorum beklentilerimi sunarken. Benim için var olan şeyler basit: istemek ya da istememek, mutlu olmak ya da olmamak.

10. İnanıyorum ve inandıklarımın kişiselliğine inanıyorum. İnanma kapasitem cesaret edebilme düzeyimden daha yüksek.

11. Cesaret ve aşk en güçlü iki söz. Aşk değişken, akıcı. Birine duyduğun aşk güçlenirken diğeri solmaya başlıyor. Cesaret, sabit bir kaya gibi, kararlı.

12. Akışkanlığımı tanıyorum. Ölümcül ve durdurulamaz.

13. O ismi biliyorum. Hayalden de güçlü olan şeyleri tanıyorum. Ulaşamadığım, ulaşma gereksinimim.

14. Yorgunluk çöküyor üstüme, yere uzanıyorum. Garip, düzenli ve çirkin bir sesi dinliyorum. Üzerine halkalar çizen, devamlı, düzensiz bir ses ekleniyor. Sessizlik uzakta ve imkansız.

15. Ormanda yalnız kalmak, toprağın kokusu, sert bir yatakta-toprakta uyumak. Bütün böcekler ve geri kalan her şey. Soldan yükselen güneş. Yaz.

Capturing the Friedmans

2003.

watch this documentary.

it is good.

define it, lee.

http://www.d-e-f-i-n-i-t-e-l-y.com/

I guess this is my favorite site of the month.

enjoy fellovers.

Emek.

50 yıl sonra torunlarımla İstiklal Caddesi'nde yürürken onlara Emek Sinemasının eskiden bulunduğu yeri gösterip "burada bir zamanlar çok özel bir sinema vardı, ama ben 20 yaşındayken yıktılar." demeyi reddediyorum.

Istanbul'un boğazdan geçen vapurları, tarihi yarım adası, bütün o gururlandığımız kültürel mirası, hiç biri ben de Emek Sineması kadar özel bir yere sahip değil. Bir filme ne olursa olsun Emek Sineması'nda gitmeye çalıştığımızı, festival zamanı okuldan çıkıp Emek Sineması'na koşturduğumuzu düşünüyorum, ve aslında orada ne kadar da az film izlediğim geliyor aklıma. Hep oradaydı, yıkılması mümkün değildi ki; Emek'e istediğim zaman gidebilirdim. Kültürel mirastan çok daha fazlası Emek benim için. O benim için kişisel bir miras. Kendi çocuğumu oraya götürüp, aynı kendi annemle yaptığım gibi, sahneyi çevreleyen işlemeler ve perdenin kıpkırmızılığı hakkında konuşmak istiyorum. O kıpkırmızı perde açılırken duyacağımız heyecan hakkında konuşmak istiyorum. Emek sineması koltuklarına montlarımızı koyarak boyu yetişmeyen çocuğumun sahneyi görmesini sağlamak istiyorum. Aynı annemle, babamla yaptığım gibi.

Emek'siz bir İstanbul'da yaşamayı reddediyorum.

After 50 years from now on, I refuse to say "There was a very special movie theatre, but they demolished it when I was 20" to my grandchildren while we are walking down in the Istiklal.

Ships sailing in the Istanbul's famous bosphorus, historical peninsula, that cultural inheritance that we all proud of, non of them are important as Emek Theatre. I think of the times that we insist on seeing a movie in the Emek no matter what, running after school to there to watch a festival film and I realize that I haven't went there enough; since it was going to be there, always. Emek is much more than a culturel inheritance for me. It is personal inheritance that I will leave to my children. I want to take my child there and I want to talk about that red curtain, as I did with my mother. I want to talk about the excitement for the opening of the red curtain. I want to put our coats to the chairs of the movie theatre for my child to sit on so my child will be able to see the screen. Just like I did with my mother, or with my father.

I refuse to live in an Istanbul without Emek. Istanbul will be no more without it's cinema theatre.

The Man Who Has Nothing To Do With "Need"

Dialogue Between a Priest and a Dying Man

Enough is Enough

Hey, hey I listen to you pray as if some help will come
Hey, hey She will dance on our graves when we are dead and gone
Hey, hey to the suicide day, the blind man blunders on
Hey, hey She will dance on our graves when we are dead and gone 

As children learn about the world, we built that wall of sand
Along the beach we laboured hard with our bare hands
We worked until the sun went down beneath the waves
And the tide came rolling splashing in, washed the wall away
How do we tell the people in the white coats
Enough is enough?

Instructions to Follow...

If you ever find yourself in a fairy-tale, this Instructions must be followed.

Fox Fight

it's a bad night
for a fox fight
blank from blame
black from shame
it's a sun dial keeping time with your wounds
it's the moon 

http://www.myspace.com/flatlineskyline

Kisses Over Babylon

Soy illuminados

Illuminados

Oh man, what the hell is going to happen to Rand Al'Thor or Karaethon Cycle

This was the question that i asked to my friend. He didn't read the series. The answer was:

"He is going to burn. Actualy, I will burn him and I will create him again. Or nothing good will happen."

Karaethon Cycle

And it shall come to pass that what men made shall be shattered, and the Shadow shall lie across the Pattern of the Age, and the Dark One shall once more lay his hand upon the world of man. Women shall weep and men quail as the nations of the earth are rent like rotting cloth. Neither shall anything stand or abide…

Yet one shall be born to face the Shadow, born once more as he was born before, and shall be born again, time without end. The Dragon shall be Reborn, and there will be wailing and gnashing of teeth at his rebirth. In sackcloth and ashes shall he clothe the people, and he shall break the world again by his coming, tearing apart all ties that bind. Like the unfettered dawn shall he blind us, and burn us, yet shall the Dragon Reborn confront the Shadow at the Last Battle, and his blood shall give us the Light. Let tears flow, O ye people of the world. Weep for your salvation.

On the slopes of Dragonmount shall he be born,

born of a maiden wed to no man.

He will be of the ancient blood, and raised by the old blood.

When the winds of Tarmon Gai’don scour the earth,

he will face the Shadow and bring forth Light again in the world.

Twice and twice shall he be marked,

twice to live, and twice to die.

Once the heron, to set his path.

Twice the heron, to name him true.

Once the Dragon, for remembrance lost.

Twice the Dragon, for the price he must pay.

Twice dawns the day when his blood is shed.

Once for mourning, once for birth.

Red on black, the Dragon’s blood stains the rock of Shayol Ghul.

In the Pit of Doom shall his blood free men from the Shadow.

Five ride forth, and four return.

Above the Watchers Over the Waves shall he proclaim himself,

bannered ‘cross the sky in fire.

When the Dragon is Reborn he will break all oaths, shatter all ties.

The Stone of Tear will never fall, till Callandor is wielded by the Dragon’s hand.

The Stone of Tear will never fall, till the People of the Dragon come.

Into the heart he thrusts his sword,

into the heart, to hold their hearts.

who draws it out shall follow after,

What hand can grasp that fearful blade?

Power of the Shadow made human flesh,

wakened to turmoil, strife and ruin.

The Reborn One, marked and bleeding,

dances the sword in dreams and mist,

chains the Shadowsworn to his will,

from the city, lost and forsaken,

leads the spears to war once more,

breaks the spears and makes them see,

truth long hidden in the ancient dream.

He shall slay his people with the sword of peace, and destroy them with the leaf.

With his coming are the dread fires born again.

The hills burn, and the land turns sere.

The tides of men run out, and the hours dwindle.

The wall is pierced, and the veil of parting raised.

Storms rumble beyond the horizon, and the fires of heaven purge the earth.

There is no salvation without destruction, no hope this side of death.

The unstained tower breaks and bends knee to the forgotten sign.

The seas rage, and stormclouds gather unseen.

Beyond the horizon, hidden fires swell, and serpents nestle in the bosom.

What was exalted is cast down; what was cast down is raised up.

Order burns to clear his path.

There can be no health in us, nor any good thing grow,

for the land is one with the Dragon Reborn, and he is one with the land.

Soul of fire, heart of stone, in pride he conquers, forcing the proud to yield.

He calls upon the mountains to kneel, and the seas to give way, and the very skies to bow.

Pray that the heart of stone remembers tears, and the soul of fire, love.

As the plow breaks the earth shall he break the lives of men,

and all that was shall be consumed in the fire of his eyes.

The trumpets of war shall sound at his footsteps, the ravens feed at his voice,

and he shall wear a crown of swords.

Master of the lightnings, rider on the storm,

wearer of a crown of swords, spinner out of fate.

Who thinks he turns the Wheel of Time,

may learn the truth too late.

The Seals that hold back the night shall weaken,

and in the heart of winter shall winter’s heart be born,

amid the wailings of lamentations and the gnashing of teeth,

for winter’s heart shall ride a black horse, and the name of it is Death.

And it shall come to pass, in the days when the Dark Hunt rides,

when the right hand falters and the left hand strays,

that mankind shall come to the Crossroads of Twilight,

and all that is, all that was,

and all that will be shall be shall balance on the point of a sword,

while the winds of the Shadow grow.

He shall heal the wounds of madness and cutting of hope.

He shall bind the nine moons to serve him.

The north shall he tie to the east, and the west shall be bound to the south.

He shall break the nations, and shatter the world.

His blood on the rocks of Shayol Ghul,

washing away the Shadow, sacrifice for man’s salvation. 

Fortune rides like the sun on high

with the fox that makes the ravens fly.

Luck his soul, the lightning his eye,

He snatches the moons from out of the sky.

When the Wolf King carries the hammer, thus are the final days known.

when the Fox marries the raven, and the trumpets of battle are blown.