...sorry

I can look back at my wounds

or I can forget about them

Little things can make a hole in me,

I would look black, golden and silver 

I could drink some red

though I always drink black

I could smell the sun

But I smell the brown

I can walk

It may hurt

And I can leave my traces

Green and red

and a little piece of me

I can wait or run

all the same...

There may be chances that I lose

while I try to find something

New.

I may know where I am

I am maybe lost

The answers are there

But I won't look at them

Grey, white or black
And I say "No"

I tried so long, to make better mistakes

I always took something to give

I am coward or brave

Or maybe I'm just a whisper

And I always think

that the scarlett is the redness of a scar

I maybe slow while I am running fast

I can be a roar but an empty sound

In the end

I can just look at you

I can be white and black

and always have a red in me

I can be an empty glass

though I may burn

And I can love the water

while I'm becoming fire

I can believe that it is

only unnecessary,

But I enjoy

just to be able to say...

Saya Valentine

"Valiente"

Repetition

I have one, you know

          So deep, I know

grey and ice lakes

          but I let it

I live instead

But you

      you make me

      you make me bring

      bring the cold

      cold and grey

      grey ice lakes back.

Saya Valentine

"Valiente"

Sleepless Night in Tartu

shoes forsaken - drunks and waiters

bridge of sex

gas station coffee and waiting

and don't forget 
the infamous perversion that people remember

leave again as you came

but keep your fingers warm

Instructions to Follow...

If you ever find yourself in a fairy-tale, this Instructions must be followed.

Stop.. Wait... I'm... "Counting the Beats"

"I will now close my eyes, I will stop my ears, I will turn away my sense from their objects, I will even efface from my consciousness..."                         Rene Descartes, Meditations

So, yes. 

And here I am at the middle of nothing.

That's how I started to here that song again,

that song from a long time ago,

that song that I heard as I lick my salty lips

You, love, and I,

(He whispers) you and I,

And if no more than only you and I,

What care you or I?

Counting the beats,

Couting the slow heart beats,

The bleeding to death of time in slow heart beats,

Wakeful they lie.

Cloudless day,

Night, and a cloudless day,

Yet the huge storm will burst upon their heads one day

From a bitter sky.

Where shall we be,

(She whispers) where shall we be,

When death strikes home, O where then shall we be

Who were you and I?

Not there but here,

(He whispers) only here,

As we are, here, together, now and here,

Always you and I.

Counting the beats,

Counting the slow heart beats,

The bleeding to death of time in slow heart beats,

Wakeful they lie.

robert graves

Dörtlük

Yeryüzüne tohum gibi saçmışım ölülerimi,

kimi Odesa'da yatar, kimi İstanbul'da, Pırağ'da kimi

En sevdiğim memleket yeryüzüdür.

Sıram gelince yeryüzüyle örtün üzerimi.

Nazım Hikmet 1959

"A road is an identifiable route, way or path between places." -Wikipedia.

You road I enter upon and look around,
I believe you are not all that is here,
I believe that much unseen is also here...

Walt Whitman- From Song of the Open Road

...I was going south and west, because if I went south or east I would run out of world too soon...

Neil Gaiman - Bitter Ground

I ate the apple!

And it was delicious.

I ate the wisdom of God!

I ate all the sins that you can imagine.

It was juicy, it was crispy, it was tasty.

I gave mortality to human kind, I gave a reason to live.

Yes, I ate the apple, and it was delicious!

I ate the apple, never felt regret!

I ate it, I drank it, I washed myself in its juice.

Yes, I am the reason.

I am the mother of reasons!

The reason you die.

The reason you live.

The reason that you suffer.

The reason that you hate.

The reason that you feel.